I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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