i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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