I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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