once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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