Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
