my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
