Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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