You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
