im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
