You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
