If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize