Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
