i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
