if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
sex in a hospital.. check
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize