it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Can I color on your dick again?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
