I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I wear drunk well.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
