I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
