I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
