bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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