Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
