We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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