We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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