We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize