I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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