I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
