Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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