The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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