Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
