He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
