Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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