Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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