hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
