and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
