HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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