if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
