I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
