I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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