Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
