She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
