He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
