He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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