I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize