i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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