carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
