This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize