benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
