I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
