i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We are two peas in an std pod
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
