My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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