i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
