i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
