We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
