And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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