Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
