did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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