I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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