Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
