that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
