just come out here and I will go home with you...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
