I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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