help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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