Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize