Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
