you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
